Keiko rimigio

 

Fighting Monsters Within

i suppose if people know that they won't be around for long, their priorities change and most of the time, responsibilities are left behind.

There are a lot of things in my mind that is causing me to be depressed. I am really trying hard not to be sucked by this void and honestly, it's not as easy as i thought it would be.

It is so hard to remain positive when you know your days are numbered. the idea that it will eventually end is not as black and white as i hope it would be.

I am trying to drown everything with entertaining myself by playing games and occupy my mind with tasks for work.

walking to metrowalk made me think, when is my last day... would i be present 5 or 10 years from now? it's a very morbid thing to think about, i know, but it can't be help. as i am finishing my second stick of cigarette, i thought of keeping this journal and possibly one day look back on it on my death bed and see who i was before that faithful day.

I just hope that rhoi will outlive me, as selfish as it may sound, i don't want to be the one left behind.

i shall drown these things in my head and complete my tasks at work... it does help... i think.